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… whispers sweet nothings; Warrant out for horse sex accused An arrest warrant has been issued for a Leicester man accused of having sex with a horse and a donkey, after he failed to turn up to court. Joseph Squires, of Overpark Avenue, is charged with a serious sexual offence against a donkey between February [...] Once upon a time there was a handsome prince who one day asked a girl, “Will you marry me?” The girl said, “NO!” And the handsome prince lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles, went fishing & hunting, played golf a lot, drank beer & scotch, had tons of money in the bank, left the toilet [...] A guy was riding his motorcycle along the A259 between Bexhill and St Leonards on the English South coast, when suddenly the clouded sky above his head parted and a booming voice said. “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in many ways, I will grant you one wish.” The chap pulled over, [...] … in aid of paranoid schizophrenics and homosexuals, descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted, “he’s behind you!” … Over the last month I became the victim of a clever ‘Eastern European’ scam while out shopping. Simply dropping into my local Tesco in Blackpool for a bit of shopping has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen to you, or your friends. Here’s how the scam [...] If, like me, you enjoy language, particularly the idiosyncrasies of English, then you’ll probably appreciate these; * Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine. * A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. * Dijon vu – the same mustard as before. * Practice safe eating – always [...] So the Michael Jackson roller coaster has stopped. Looks like he got enough. Apparently he died after walking into a pub in Paisley and saying “Do you wanna be starting something?” We can all learn something from Michael’s life. For example, it looks like oxygen tents are a big waste of money. [...] I’m not a fan of the Daily Wail and I certainly wouldn’t snaffle an entire piece (other than to rip it to shreds), but this piece tickled me… with the final paragraph being quite apposite:
As France rejoins NATO, a humorous reminder of why we never missed them With typical flamboyance [...] Police have put an arrest warrant out for @stephenfry as government officials have declared his Twitter following to be officially a cult. PC Plod said today: “The government science man involved gave us the following guidelines for identifying cults. We read this, looked some words up in the dictionary and then acted. Or maybe we [...] |
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‘Jack Frost’ in Hot Water
Yet more nonsense;
Jason ‘sorry’ for Pakistani joke
Actor Sir David Jason has apologised for a joke he made about Pakistanis on Tuesday morning on national radio.
Speaking on Christian O’Connell’s Absolute Radio show the day after the joke was broadcast, the star said it was a “silly little play on words”.
He added: “It [...]